“Are you lonely?”

“I’m not sure, to be honest. I’m not alone, you see.

Schoolwork is overwhelming and I got a best friend I see on a regular basis, and there’s always my family. Things are too busy for me to be justifiable distracted by emotional affairs.

I don’t think I should be feeling lonely, I feel as if I am not entitled to that emotion. I blamed myself for not having a strong will not to let my inner troubles affect me. But it seemed to have a counter effect of isolating myself further – the more I want to stop feeling the more I do.

I miss having someone to love. Maybe I can do away with that person loving me back because then it will now become an obligation to return the fond feelings instead of being spontaneous. But damn I miss quality physical affection – I guess I am needy like that.

To have someone to lean on when life gets too stressful, to have someone to give kisses and make them happy, to have someone crawling into bed with me for cuddles – a good end to whatever kind of day it may be.

If that’s the definition of loneliness, to ache for a reality of what could be, then yes I am feeling lonely.”

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