“Disclaimer for the future dudes who want to date me”

“Don’t date me.

I’m a moody bitch and I hate it when people try to even disagree with me when I’m in a lousy mood. I’ll lash out at you and I know where to strike where it hurts, or I’ll ignore you till the heart’s settled.

I’m so bloody proud and stubborn. There’s only a certain amount of bullshit I can tolerate before cutting you off, when I know I deserve better. I won’t apologize if I think it’s not justifiable, and you won’t be able to make me.

Also, I’m infuriatingly moralistic. The minute you deemed yourself to be inherently superior and practice gross discrimination towards others based on some social construct of attributes I’m gonna boot you out of my door. The inability to recognize arbitrariness of marginalization of a social group (not just of a single individual) indicate a character of low self reflexivity and i simply can’t tolerate uncritical thinkers to be of such close social distance to me.

I’m going to find your weakness, and make sure to store it as a secret weapon such I ever feel the need to retaliate. I’m manipulative and determined to get what I want, which is quite a nasty combination if you choose to let me exploit. And I can promise you I will.

Oh, did I mention my neediness? I’ll demand for compliments phrased cleverly to make me feel special, and failure to do so with be reflected in obvious display of disappointment. I need hugs and cuddles and I’ll push you away and then expect you to come close again.

Personal space is important to me too. Will you be able to understand that sometimes I want to isolate myself completely, other times I want you to be my shelter, and the rest I want my own freedom to choose the company? Can you and your fragile ego handle that you will never always be the first nor the only person I want in my life?

And now, you. I want someone who is constantly improving, and teaching me, forever pushing me to be a better version of myself today. Not only must you have initative, you got to have patience when I may be trapped in inertia and to be my non-condescending partner to motivate me. I need someone with my baby steps and then be perfectly okay, and preferably be insanely proud, when I push you away to try walking on my own.

These are the minimum that I deserve, and I will not settle for anything less. In return, I will surrender my heart totally, and I promise you that that I will give and give until I exhaust till my very core. So unless you are confident that these are qualities you can offer to me, please don’t waste both our time in starting a relationship which will an inevitable ending.

I tell you my flaws so don’t date me if you can’t handle me, because otherwise if you choose to try and then leave despite my warnings I may overthink maybe I’m not worth it. I’m afraid that if I were to try too many times my expectations will somehow always fall short and I gradually lose faith in humanity. If you can’t be that person, then I need to retain a certain amount of hope to navigate this chaotic world alone.

So, don’t date me.”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s