Dear L,

I had never been in a whirlwind romance before. Struck from the very first sight and stuck in the head ever since. So crazy in love that logic fly out of the window, and everything goes out of control, when thinking about and behaving towards this person. Nope, never.

I like to think that I kept a cool head throughout the entire time we were together. You didn’t struck me immediately as outstandingly attractive – my insides weren’t doing somersaults or fluttering but simply a calm sigh of relief that this person at least appeared to be decent looking and charming. 

I observed you.

I kept track of the little things you did & what you said and I mentally tried to piece the information together. the same question was asked in variation just to see if you may be exaggerating about your passion, but the answer was always more or less the same. I liked that you were genuinely interested in what i had to say, and not just pretending so as to get into my pants. I appreciated that you wanted to take pictures of me, because it is a wonderful feeling to be remembered. I admired that you were mature enough to take a rejection for a kiss to your stride, yet brave enough to try again (successfully) at the end of the night. When you were stressed out, you didn’t vent out your frustration at me but instead (amazingly) thanked me for sticking around. When you gave me the complete autonomy to choose where to go and what to feed you, simply because it didn’t matter “as long as I’m with you”. When you put in the time and effort to make plans with me in mind, bringing me to places where I had never been and to eat things that I love, for reason just because you wanted to. The way you would always reach out for my hand and curl your fingers around mine, the way you never seemed tired of kissing me. The way you would mimic my mannerism playfully because you think I’m adorable, the way you were so generous with your compliments but meant it every time. The way you say the most ridiculous stuff that had me in stitches, the way your eyes twinkled whenever you’re amused by my antics. I love that you have little or no sense of self-entitlement… how you were kind of shy to receive my gratitude when you did something nice for me – retaliating my thank yous by thanking me back – but always looked so surprised when I did the same for you.

Of course, there were some instances when you would do/say stuff that is not entirely agreeable lol. The way you seemed to imply that I am a serial dater, or that my feelings for you were conditional, or you doubted my words simply because your perception of my body language did not correspond with your (limited) understanding. Sometimes I feel that you were overly sensitive to my moods and it made me worry that I was an emotional burden to you.

But my dear, I think I first realised you had captivated my heart when you still showed me love and patience when I got frightened and tried to cut you off. Telling me how you like me more than you probably should, and even then still tried your damn best to get me to stay because you were so afraid you may never see me again. Rather than being defensive for self-preservation, you instead exposed your vulnerability, trusting that I wouldn’t hurt you. Reading the messages from my body and worrying if I’m upset with anything, and sharing your concerns in order to get me to communicate with you and try and figure out a solution together – when the easier thing to do is to ignore and pretend nothing’s wrong. There is no way anyone can deny you fucking care for me.

I see you in all entirely.

I understand that you’re just a human being with flaws – imperfections that don’t bother me that much anyway – but with so much more fantastic qualities that makes you one of the caring and smartest people I ever met. I get to know how you handled yourself and people around you when in a negative situation, and it’s definitely commendable. And most importantly, I recognise that you have a giant capacity for love, not just for that someone special but also for humanity and the world you live in.

Sweetheart, do you have any idea how much I fucking adore you? It was the reasons behind every word you said, every action that you take, and every smile you made, for they reveal one of the most thoughtful and sweetest individuals as far as I can see. One’s character will likely determine the course of action taken – and I think I know enough that this man is someone who deserving of all love and blessings I can possible give and here is someone special I don’t mind the possibility of building a future together with.

I had not experienced a romance from the first moment so epic it makes me forget my name and ancestry. But precisely I was not blinded by hormones and passion, with confidence and clarity I can tell you that you are absolutely worthy and that I am incredibly lucky that we met the way we did.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s