“you make me so happy!”

My delightful declaration of affection while sprawling on top of your warm naked body was deflated by a serious reply of “don’t ever make someone your happiness.”

I stared hard at you. Just a couple days ago I was trying to run away from you because I couldn’t deal that you liked me more than you probably should, and here you were concerned that maybe I would start growing to rely on you for emotional dependence. With a smirk, I retorted “yeah, I know. you’re a very nice bonus.” 

And it’s true

I never expected that you would turn out to be as wonderful as you did, and I thank the forces of the universe for bringing us together as it did. It’s like winning an actual ticket to a fantasy vacation and all the frustrations of reality melted away as I indulged myself (with a really gorgeous man) into a magical week. But all enchantment must end; your inevitable departure woke me up from this beautiful dream. 

What I’m trying to say is, bonuses are not sustainable for happiness. If luck may bestow me, I would rather win a rice cooker (for I have strong Asian roots) – one I won’t expect to last forever, but reliable enough for me to know my favorite staple can be consumed and fuel me for adventures for years. Translate that into a person and I will require someone who is here for the long term and  complement my needs and make me a better person.


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