Conjuring a reunion which will probably never happen

the setting was in some hostel near the beach and a cool place for scuba diving. I had been mingling well with the other guests and locals, and i was happy.

One day, you came in with dive gear and checked into the exact same hostel. You were chatting with some friendly dude in the lounge area when i entered the room while holding an engaging conversation with my friend, when our eyes came in contact and i froze mid-sentence. the friendly dude waved an excited hi and despite the blank state of mind the body moved forward to greet everyone. We pretended we never knew each other, but i could see the look of shock in your eyes. I felt it too. It was awkward, and i made an excuse to leave.

I honestly do not know what will i do when I see you again. I want to run away, because i am not brave enough to face his rejection once again. yet i desperately want a closure, and to get a proper explanation why did he chose to treat me this way.

i will probably discretely invite him to have a private chat, on the beach. i need to tell him this: i wished i knew what went wrong between us. i thought we were friends when suddenly it seemed like you want to cut me off completely. was it something i had done, or did anything happened on your side? 

did you hate meeting me so much?

i’m sorry i made you so uncomfortable that you feel the need to run away. i’m sorry. 

i dont know how you will react. I hope that you will hug me and apologise too. but i think it is more likely that you will turn away, not meeting me in the eye, and then walk away with a lousy excuse.

i think you will break my heart again. even in my imagination you can still make me cry.

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